Quaintly True

Y i K a i

Love(d)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011 ( 1:18 AM )

Does anyone forgets why you love(d) someone?

At an hour like this - 1.19am, I am lying on the sofa in the dark and I wonder why I have loved so many people and why I have, sometimes, decided not to. I have forgotten why I loved you to make myself promise a thing or two I'd never done for anyone else. And that! having being reminded by myself repeatedly why I may not and should not. Tonight, I am reminded again why I shouldn't have promised those one thing or two to myself. But I know I loved you and I still do.

But it is tonight; it is night like this I have forgotten why I had loved, should love and still love.
What was it that made me promised myself to you?

I am not afraid to admit an unloving nature out of myself. So when I feel I do, I mean I do.

I love you, I really do. But why?

Love which needs reminders - so does it still expresses what it's name connote?

End; there are so many, so many (you's) in this paragraph mixed together

Freedom

Wednesday, August 24, 2011 ( 12:34 PM )

Freedom.

Yesterday the last paper of my years in dadp marked the end of... school life! Congratulations, oh celebrations~

Well, so yes. Your chance is here, to settle the many other stuff you have not. Sigh, here we go!!

Freedom, like the bird (:

End; Everything is a dilemma.

I do love

Monday, August 22, 2011 ( 2:37 AM )

There are four people and a crowd.

People
1. I love you and I had meant no harm.
2. Sorry if I had pushed too hard, but we aren't really anything else now.
3. I'd like to love you for the right reasons.
4. I miss you, but please love me back, first.

Crowd

5. I didn't wish you love to feel so, but really, I have never walked away.

End; I do love, I do.

Games aren't

Saturday, August 06, 2011 ( 2:05 AM )

ZZZ

At some point in a game, things can get a little boring. Then the game will seize it's function already. I suppose it's really time I be a little more serious about people and myself. Seriously! I need some serious scolding!

You selfish fool.

Boy, you will be a challenge and I hope I can overcome hateful definition I have on myself right now. Game ends soon enough, so I'll be serious and I hope we last. It's really... quite my choice now. Boy, please make a difference in me. It really comes as quite a shock that I suddenly have the power to make change in this bond. Quite enjoying the control, but suffering from the withhold. Boy, please make a difference in me. You may and you may not, I'm uncertain. But please do.

Games aren't meant to last.

End; Friends are.

Please bring me back

Friday, August 05, 2011 ( 12:42 AM )

Changed my blog name to Undiluted Indulgence.

Yea, I can already imagine changing it soon. Aiya, for the mean time lor. Because I have totally left out the quaint tinge to my blog, so it ain't so Quaintly True anymore.

Sigh, life is so tainted with dark emotions and I'm indulging every moment of it. Things have happen and life has changed. A shocking reaction of an old friend make me realize what inside me have changed and what outside me have developed. An innocent remark of a new friend make me characterize myself differently- again - but with a dilemma of gladness and guilt. I'm glad where I've made myself travelled to, but occassionally I'm thankful I've not stepped too far and remained in the category I used to be. But only with certain groups of people. My stereotype has changed and hurray feels like so, but boohoo feels more real at times.

Someone, please bring me back.

Where I didn't use to have to think about this - changing and undoing.

End; But of course, if anyone reaches out a hand to bring me back... I won't take it.

I just smirked

Wednesday, August 03, 2011 ( 12:07 AM )

Finally on the seats of our favourite movie - when did a date with you become so hard to arrange? I was tall on my seat, but we sat through the film in a sense of silence, which I used to enjoy. Because I always hated disturbance. Yet, it's strange to hear you too quiet today. Here it comes, the perfect moment galvanized me to turn and face you in return for the same look of excitement. There you go, texting away on your phone and not realizing that special part of the film is rolling; not noticing I've turned to you. What is so important and who matters so on the other side of the phone? As I slowly eyed back onto the screen, the movie humour in me faded with the ghost of a smirk.

This has always been a game I played on my own, where I claimed both winning and losing. I am the winner of my own defeat, and you never did abide by the rule for you have never realized your position in this game. Disappointment is an inaccurate description.

The other you who has always been there have turned invisible on the sight of someone... else. No one has punched a hole in me or harpooned a stick through me, but still I walked away with a smile I didn't know whether I meant. Disappointment is the right word.

I just smirked.

End; Because there isn't a better emotional expression than that.

**by the way readers, this is fictional.**