Quaintly True

Y i K a i

People

Saturday, January 07, 2012 ( 12:52 AM )

Happy new year! :)

A month! Since I last blogged a post.

Because I was just thinking... who the fuck cares about this blog anyway? Haha, keeeeding, I know you are reading it :)
Someone will, somehow. I wonder, at a point like this, and of a blog like this - so emotional and nothing but the worst feelings about life - who would really take their time out to type out zhuangyikai.blogspot.com on their browser?

Hello reader/s, will you tell me who you are?

I scan the crowd. Who takes a second glance at someone like me?
I scan the crowd. I didn't take a second glance at anyone else, either.

People are everywhere, and they fill this space I want for myself with all the things I dislike. Do I dislike how they filled this space? Or do I dislike... people?

Am I unhappy about the life I'm leading now. Because of the people? Because of the things I do? Because of myself? What the fuck do I dislike?

Everything not good enough, everything not going your way. Everything also want to be depress about. Everything also say 'sian, again'. Everything is like everything.

How am I going to stop thinking that I think too much each time I really have been thinking a lot?
How am I going to stop thinking a lot?
How am I going to stop thinking?

Will I be able to walk out of this?

End; I mean it, will you tell me who?

Tired

Monday, December 05, 2011 ( 11:44 PM )

I

am

so

tired

these days.

No one's to blame, no one's to apologize.
The issue is, why am I so?
So tired?

It's not a passing feeling. I'm coming to think it's chronic. How come?

End; There is never enough sleep.

Heal

Sunday, November 20, 2011 ( 12:00 AM )

Healing.

Time will do the healing, and so says everyone. I don't disagree :)

But what if... healing is an endless process? This word in everyone's mouth sounds like it will one day come to an end - when you are 'recovered'. What if it never?

You know, it's not a bad thing really. Why is being unrecovered a bad thing? Feeling damaged - you can only get better! At times, it's like waiting for the wound to heal in a way or the other. Then suddenly it just came across to me that, it kind of feels a little more settling to think that, maybe it has never been about healing, or waiting for it to heal. Else, it's really like a constant wondering of when, when, when. It was not meant to be.

Perhaps healing is an endless process. Why do you need to heal it anyway?

End; It's all about 'waiting' again, isn't it?

Where, What, Who

Wednesday, November 02, 2011 ( 12:04 AM )

It's been a while! Since I posted (:

Because I have been taking a lot off my mind, with the start of internship and work. Rather fulfilling, and pretty occupying too. Not the kind of enjoyment as contentment; but the kind of enjoyment as I-have-things-to-do. Looking at a lot of things from new perspectives and at the same time knowing a lot of people with variant novel and old feelings. Many, many things to think about.

The wooden planks on the office floor has been treating me far too well. I'm happy.

Still, the missing piece in my own journey is still - at this moment - missing. Haha... DUH. I really can't figure what is it that is not around here, not around me. I guess I have to search, and wait or even explore. Where, what, who are you?

End; I only found the picture after writing the post.

Hang on!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 ( 2:59 PM )

If there is one thing I really hate: it's got to be (you)

(You) who never return the message
and always ever so insenstive to take your own sweet time
or very inconsistent about respsonses.

I so deserve better
than these moments of literal "hanging around"
by myself without any stimulating reactions.

Everyone is doing it - (you) are all doing it
but anyone who cares for me should not
and shall never.

This is where.
This is where I draw the line
Don't blame me for my tough call, (you) all created that
out of me.

All.
All of you.

End; "You've got a message"